No sex drive? We’ll help you find your way back.

No sex drive can be caused by countless things: your intense work schedule, an infection that refuses to go away, or perhaps you are going through a sensual slump - and there is nothing wrong with that.

Of course, it is important to abstain from sex if your doctor has advised you to do so, or for any similar reason.

But if you are in a stable relationship, are healthy, and the only reason you are not having sex is that you do not feel like it, then keep reading.

In short, this is how it works: We humans are creatures of habit, which means that we quickly become accustomed to different realities. If we have not had sexual stimulation for a long time, the brain gets used to it and assumes that it is no longer something you need very much. But if you start masturbating or engaging in other forms of stimulation, the brain will soon follow. After you have an orgasm, the brain also gets a boost of dopamine and serotonin, substances that send out signals of happiness, and soon the brain associates orgasms with happiness, allowing desire to return.

Our relationship is good, but I rarely feel like having sex

So the rest of your relationship is fundamentally strong, except that you do not have the energy or desire to have sex? We understand, and it is completely normal. All relationships go through sexual slumps; it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over. Talk to your partner about your feelings - if you do not want penetrative sex, perhaps you could try masturbating together? Surprise each other and try something new, such as role-playing in public where you relive the beginning of your relationship or flirt with each other like strangers. Sometimes all that is needed is a little push to rekindle the spark.

Read more in our comprehensive couples' masturbation guide, 10 tips for couples' masturbation

What do we do when one person wants sex and the other is not in the mood?

Start by communicating

Talk to each other about the problem. The key is to express your feelings without judging your partner. Be humble and avoid all kinds of thoughts and comments such as “They do not feel like it, so there must be something wrong with me” - that may not be true and only creates unnecessary suffering for both of you. Try to figure out together: what are the reasons your desire has decreased? Are there other things you prioritize? Is it difficult to switch off your parent brain? Does it take longer to become aroused than before? Once you have identified the problem, you can find a solution together. Give each other room for your feelings, and things will work out wonderfully.

Find the alternatives

The solution may lie in a compromise or an alternative solution. If one partner has a reduced sex drive but the other does not, one solution may be masturbation. Give your partner space to masturbate alone, and if the mood strikes, you can masturbate together - who knows, perhaps it will lead to sex? It is important not to be pressured into having sex, because not only can that lead to even less sex, it can also be the beginning of the end of the relationship. On the occasions when you do have sex, it can be a good idea to vary things; falling into the same old patterns can be boring and cause the brain to stop feeling excitement. Varying intercourse can also lead to stronger orgasms - an excellent opportunity to introduce sex toys and intimate products into your relationship. P.S. - we also have a large selection of libido enhancer.

Showing each other understanding about the situation and talking about the problems can sometimes be all that is needed to remove the barrier. When you no longer have to worry about the situation, you relax more, allowing desire to peek through the door. Communicate with each other; that is the most important thing!

5 tricks that actually work

Has your sex drive been completely absent for a long time? Then it is important to first see your doctor to make sure there is no underlying medical cause. If there is not, it may be time to bring out the bag of tricks!

1. Try the intimate cream that contributes to increased sensitivity and moisture

There are several varieties of this product; Viamax Woman Warm Cream is for those who have lost their desire or have difficulty becoming wet. The warming cream provides an immediate effect, which increases with the number of applications. Apply a small amount to the clitoris and gently massage it in. For men who want more desire, there are many well-tested alternatives. Penis XXL Creme increases desire and expands the erectile bodies so that they become more filled with blood, making your penis visibly larger and thicker with well-developed veins when used regularly.

2. DJ for each other

Music is sexy, and when people talk passionately about their hobby, it often gets them going. Do this for each other! Let one person take the wheel and have the space to talk nonstop about the Rolling Stones' debut album, or whatever it may be. Tell each other about memories you have connected to certain songs. You probably have songs you share too, so do not forget those!

3. Share your vulnerability

Everyone is different, which means that everyone connects with their partner in different ways. Some people need to have sex first and then feel closer to their partner. Others can feel connected at the beginning and have sex afterward. Of course, it is OK that we are different, but to solve the problem of not having sex, we need to talk to each other and understand how the other person thinks and feels.

4. Try some good old-fashioned (good) porn

Not all porn is bad. You probably already have established opinions about porn, but try giving it another chance and exploring it anew. Your Tango has listed the best romantic porn films ever. If watching together with your partner feels uncomfortable, do it yourself!

5. Let your mind roam freely

Many people feel guilty because they think about other things during sex, anything but their partner. Do not feel guilty about it. Think about exactly what you want if it helps you get in the right mood. It is not something you have to tell your partner. What they do not know...

Good luck! Be open with each other and find what works for you, and your sex life will become the best it can be.