My boyfriend understands my endometriosis

Endometriosis - How common is it?

Several girls we have spoken to testify that vibrators that stimulate the clitoris make intercourse easier. This shifts the focus to the clitoris and makes it easier to relax. Small egg vibrators can also work well. Large vibrators and dildos may be best avoided.

Endometriosis means that the lining of the uterus is found in places other than inside the uterus. Uterine lining in places other than the uterus often causes inflammation. The inflammation can lead to pain and sometimes cause scar tissue and adhesions to form.

One of those affected, blogger Angelica, tells us about how her sex life works for her and her boyfriend, and about the tricks she usually uses to reduce the pain.

"I thought I would tell you a little about how sex and intimacy work with endometriosis, or at least how it works for me. It is very individual and differs for everyone. For me, it varies greatly from day to day."

"One day I can be in extreme pain during intercourse, and the next day it can work well."

"However, I always have pain during intercourse. What differs is how much it hurts. Sometimes it is simply impossible to have sex, while other times sex can help a little with the pain. The body relaxes and endorphins are released, which can reduce the pain."

Does it hurt when you lie down? How to avoid pain

"The times when sex is most difficult for me are during my period, mainly because the pain becomes so much worse. When the pain gets worse, it is difficult to have sex because it is hard to relax, and because it often hurts much more if you tense certain muscles around the uterus and abdomen. There may also be certain spots that are reached during sex and hurt a lot. Often, certain positions simply do not work at all, and I have to say that we need to change positions because it hurts. However, which positions those are differs from time to time. One time, forward-thrusting positions may hurt the most, and another time it may be backward-thrusting positions."

"I am glad to have an understanding boyfriend who supports me and truly understands if I cannot have sex."

"Often, he is even the one who says that we should not have sex because I have been in a lot of pain all day. We have not been able to have sex for several days after I had my hormonal IUD inserted; I have terrible pain every day and I am also bleeding heavily. I find it very difficult when a long time passes during which I cannot have sex, but I think it is harder for me than it is for my boyfriend. This may have a lot to do with the fact that my sex drive increases because of all the hormone medications I take. For many people, it is the opposite: their sex drive decreases and they no longer want to have sex as much. Mine has increased instead, and I would ideally like to have sex every day, which is often difficult with my endometriosis. We will see how things go now with the IUD and the antidepressant tablets, but at the moment my sex drive seems to be just as strong as before."

Tips for those with endometriosis

Some tips for making sex easier with endometriosis include using plenty of lube. There are also lubes that are supposed to have a warming effect that may relieve the pain a little, although I have not tried one. Other tips include alternatives to vaginal sex, such as oral sex or anal sex. Another tip is to use sex toys, such as a vibrator, as a sexual aid. This can help you relax a lot, making intercourse easier and less painful. Vibrators work very well for me!

- Angelica

(Thank you so much, Angelica, for sharing with us at Mshop what it is like to have sex with endometriosis.)