Beginner: Oral sex
What is oral sex?
Oral sex is a type of sex that you perform on a partner using your mouth and tongue. Licking, sucking, blowing, and nibbling with your teeth are common ways to help your partner enjoy themselves. Oral sex includes the pleasure you give both a female and a male partner. But let’s quickly go through the difference between the two.
Giving a blowjob (oral sex for a penis)
Giving oral sex to a person with a penis is, in theory, not very difficult. You put the penis in your mouth and move your head up and down (be careful not to scrape it with your teeth). You can also use your hands and tongue. We recommend taking it slowly at first, but varying the speed of your movements. Whether you have the penis in your mouth or choose to run your tongue over the glans or shaft.
There are small tips and tricks you can use to become really good at giving a blowjob. For example, you can try looking the person in the eyes while performing oral sex. It becomes an intimate and wonderful experience. Don’t forget the scrotum either; gently caress it during the process. Also try some flavored lube for an extra ecstatic experience.
Going down on a vulva (oral sex for a vagina)
When it comes to giving oral sex to a person with a vagina, it is largely about the clitoris. Move your tongue over the sensitive area, as well as the areas around it. You can also suck on the clitoris a little, but be careful with your teeth. Using your fingers or a G-spot dildo to stimulate the G-spot inside the vagina at the same time can be much appreciated by many.
There are many tricks you can use here as well. Some people use the alphabet: write the alphabet over the clitoris with your tongue. Maybe one of the letters feels especially good? Otherwise, we highly recommend an oral sex cream or orgasm gel for the clitoris. Let it dry before you begin oral sex.
Important things to consider before you begin
Communicate
Talk to each other and check in with your partner about what they feel comfortable with. Does your partner like it when you use your teeth and nibble a little? Or are teeth a BIG no-no? You can only know if you ask. Check in with each other about what you like. Maybe you want to try a new type of stimulation during oral sex? Oral sex should be enjoyable, and there should be no surprises that may cause discomfort or make the desire disappear.
Build-up
Taking it slowly at first, then gradually increasing both the pace and intensity, can be very rewarding and pleasurable. Whether you are giving a blowjob or going down on someone, it can feel good to start with one activity and then add more. For example, focus on the clitoris for a while before you start stimulating the G-spot. If you are giving a blowjob, you can focus on using your tongue for a while before you start stimulating the scrotum.
Pay attention
Paying attention to your partner during sex is important. When you are going down on someone, the focus is on her; when you are giving a blowjob, the focus is on him. Notice which movements or areas you stimulate make your partner react, whether they respond with moans or gently try to guide you toward a different action.
No expectations
There are no requirements when it comes to sex, and the same applies to oral sex. If you want to give your partner oral sex, that is absolutely wonderful and kind. But never demand that your partner do the same if they are not comfortable with it. This brings us back to the point of “communication.” Talk to each other about your expectations, but let your desire to give your partner pleasure be a gift, not an exchange of services.
Safety first
If you have a new partner you want to give oral sex to, make sure to protect yourself. Sexually transmitted infections can also be transmitted through oral sex. So always use a condom or dental dam with a partner to avoid becoming infected with anything.
We highly recommend using a flavored condom for a wonderful experience when performing oral sex. Dental dams can also come in different flavors. You can find several options here.
An extra touch
There are many different sex toys that can enhance the experience of oral sex with a partner. Among other things, you can use a stroker, a G-spot wand, or another type of vibrator.
You can read more about products that are perfect for oral sex in our guide. Click the image below to access it.