Beginner: Anal sex
If you are properly prepared, anal sex is almost always incredibly pleasurable. If you are not prepared, it can be a terrible experience that you never want to go through again. To have anal sex, you must WANT to have anal sex, and we recommend reading through these important insights about anal sex BEFORE sliding in, to avoid an: “Oops! I slipped!?”
1. The lube
Lube is essential when it comes to anal sex. Some people think saliva is enough, but that is not the case. Do not even consider trying without it. Promise to always be prepared with plenty of lube before you let someone else enter you or vice versa. This is very important to avoid any injuries that may occur. The anus does not produce the same natural lubricant as the vagina.
So which lube should you use? The very best option is an anal lube designed for anal sex. Anal lubes last a long time and provide extra glide. They also often contain ingredients that help the muscles relax more easily or provide a cooling sensation. But if you do not have any at home, silicone-based lube also works well. Water-based lube is best avoided, as it dries out relatively quickly and can create uncomfortable and sometimes painful friction in the anus. However, if you use a sex toy, make sure to use one that is compatible with silicone-based lube - for example, a glass dildo.
2. Be prepared
Besides a large tube of lube, it is important to talk beforehand. Be clear about what you want, especially if it is your first time. If you are the receiving partner in anal sex, you are in a somewhat more vulnerable position - this means that the person being penetrated has the final say. If it does not feel good, say so. One tip is to use a safe word in case it hurts. Feel free to ask one more time just beforehand, because sometimes people change their minds quickly. Are you in the mood? Yes, are you? Desire is essential during sex, especially during anal sex.
Another way to prepare is to try inserting and removing a finger; you can do this while standing in the shower.
3. Relax
The anus has several so-called sphincter muscles that keep the right things inside your bottom and the wrong things outside. You can control the outer sphincter with your will, while the other is controlled reflexively, just like your heartbeat and breathing. To get all the way into the anus with a penis or an anal toy, all the sphincter muscles need to relax.
4. Masturbate at the same time
Many women and other people with vaginas experience breathtaking orgasms from the combination of anal sex and clitoral stimulation. It is truly amazing, and we highly recommend it! Stimulation of the clitoris also helps her focus on it and relax her anus, making it even more pleasurable. Use, for example, a Magic Wand while the anus is being stimulated. Double the pleasure!
5. Keep it clean
One of the most important of these anal sex rules is one you should definitely follow if you want a hygienic experience. This, number five among our anal sex rules, is not really about any activity that should be performed in one way or another. The rectum and anus have a job, which is to transport feces. If a little bit of brown gets on the penis, it is completely natural and not a catastrophe. You will still like each other afterwards!
“What if he gets feces on his penis? I’ll DIE!”
For some people, the dirty aspect of anal sex can even heighten the pleasure of doing something forbidden. But if you want to guarantee a completely clean experience, there is something called an anal douche that can prevent an embarrassing situation. If you do not want to go as far as using an anal douche, you can instead think about what you eat the day before. It takes between 18 and 24 hours for food to pass out through the rectum.
6. Positions
Many people who try anal sex do it doggy style, i.e. from behind, even the first time. It does not have to be that advanced at all. Instead, try spooning, where you both lie on your sides facing the same direction. In the spooning position, it is easier to relax and you can take things exactly as slowly as you need to. It is also easier to hold each other and kiss in the spooning position, which should not be underestimated. Another good position for anal sex is for one partner to ride the other, meaning that the person being penetrated straddles their partner, who is lying on their back. This position is a little more advanced than spooning because the muscles in the buttocks do not relax as easily, but it gives the person on top complete control over what happens. Plan and talk to each other about what you think would feel best for you. This may sound a little boring, but if you do it the right way, it can be perfect foreplay for your anal adventures together. It will also make you feel safer together, which helps you both relax later when you have anal sex.
7. Men & anal sex
For men, the prostate, located just behind the rectal wall, can be a very pleasurable source of enjoyment. You can find it 5-7 cm in toward the front of the body. Let your partner massage it with a finger or a sex toy. One of our best-selling butt plugs for men is the Classic from Doc Johnson. Do not forget the lower part of the penis, also called the “bulb,” which is located near the anal opening. It is indirectly stimulated by most types of anal sex.
8. The psychological pleasure
While you are at it, try to lean back and take in the feeling of what you are doing. The anal taboo contributes to the excitement and arousal of “doing something forbidden.” If you experience the psychological pleasure, the physical pleasure will also increase. Anal sex is also about trust and openness. Think about how close you are to each other and how much you dare to give of yourselves to one another.
9. The condom
Sexually transmitted infections spread more easily through anal sex than through regular intercourse, so we recommend always using a condom. In addition, the mucous membranes in the anus are somewhat more fragile, so small tears can easily occur if you are unlucky.
Did it still hurt? Here is how to try again
Oh no, it is unfortunate that things did not go as you wanted the first time. Anal sex can still be enjoyed even if it has been uncomfortable in the past. Chronic anal tension is the most common reason for discomfort during anal sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation can usually be signs of this condition. It can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. You can also try tightening the anus, relaxing, and repeating this several times.
If you feel ready to get back in the saddle, agree that you will not have anal intercourse right away. Instead, let your partner calmly and slowly massage your anus. Stop there. This allows you to relax completely and focus on the pleasure that the erogenous zone can create.
Feel free to share these insights with your partner before you get started, so that you both understand what is involved.
10 Quick questions about anal sex
Question 1: What is anal sex?
Answer: Anal sex is a sexual activity in which one person’s penis, fingers, or a sex toy is inserted into their partner’s anus for sexual stimulation.
Question 2: What preparations should be made before anal sex?
Answer: Preparing for anal sex can involve communicating with your partner about your interest and taking time to explore and learn about anal sex. Using plenty of lube is also important to facilitate penetration and reduce the risk of discomfort or injury.
Question 3: What type of lube should be used during anal sex?
Answer: During anal sex, it is best to use a thick, water-based lube. Avoid oil-based or silicone-based lubes because they can break down condoms and cause irritation.
Question 4: How can you reduce the risk of discomfort or pain during anal sex?
Answer: To reduce the risk of discomfort or pain during anal sex, it is important to be relaxed and not rush. You can use fingers, sex toys, or gradual penetration to get used to the sensation. Using enough lube and communicating with your partner about any discomfort is also important.
Question 5: How can you prevent the possible transmission of diseases during anal sex?
Answer: Anal sex can involve an increased risk of transmitting certain sexually transmitted infections. Using a condom during anal sex can help reduce this risk. It is also important to stay up to date on your own and your partner’s sexual health and undergo regular checkups.
Question 6: Can anal sex be painful?
Answer: Anal sex can be painful if it is not performed safely and comfortably. Being relaxed, using enough lube, and gradual penetration can help reduce discomfort or pain.
Question 7: Are there any risks associated with anal sex?
Answer: Anal sex can involve certain risks, including injury to the anus or rectum if performed improperly. It can also increase the risk of transmitting certain sexually transmitted infections if protection is not used.
Question 8: Can women also enjoy anal sex?
Answer: Yes, women can also enjoy anal sex. The anus is an erogenous zone that can provide sexual stimulation and pleasure for both men and women. It is important to communicate and be attentive to your partner’s needs and wishes.
Question 9: Are there any specific positions recommended for anal sex?
Answer: There are various positions that can be comfortable and provide better access during anal sex, such as “doggy style” or side-lying. It is important to experiment and find the positions that work best for you and your partner.
Question 10: Can anal sex be a safe method of contraception?
Answer: Anal sex cannot be considered a reliable method of contraception. Semen can still enter the vagina or urethra during anal sex and lead to pregnancy or the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. If you want to avoid pregnancy or protect yourself against infections, you should use other contraceptive methods such as condoms or hormonal contraceptives.
